


I'm not a monster, am I?

by HighlyLostCause



Category: The Shannara Chronicles (TV)
Genre: Eventual Happy Ending, Fix-it 2x4, Gen, Introspection, Possession - sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-22
Updated: 2019-08-22
Packaged: 2020-09-24 07:41:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20354836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HighlyLostCause/pseuds/HighlyLostCause
Summary: Bandon isn't a monster. Or at least, he hopes he isn't.Kinda Fix-it fic for 2x4





	I'm not a monster, am I?

Bandon could fell the life escaping the boy’s body as he was still pulling on the leather strap. He had stopped moving a few seconds before, too weak to keep trying to fight the pressure on his neck.

Against the wall, where he had pushed them, his parents were looking at him. Their eyes were wide open, filled with horror and fear. Mostly fear.

They were terrified of the man - monster - standing in front of them.

For a brief instant, Bandon’s motivation shattered. He closed his eyes, trying to forget the terror written all over the farmers’ faces. He wasn’t a monster.

_ “Yes, you are.” _

The voice inside his head has been gone for the past couple of days, during his trip with Flick Ohmsford - Wil’s uncle - across the Four Lands. But it was back now. More intrusive and more persuasive than before. 

_ “You are a monster. Look at them.” _

The elf reluctantly opened his eyes. He could still feel the leather in his hand and hear the faint breathing of the boy. His parents couldn’t look away from him as if the child’s life would end the moment they would look away.

_ “They think you are a monster. What the point of proving them wrong, when you know deep down, they will never change their mind about you.” _

He shook his head, trying to make it leave his thoughts. His grip on the leather loosened.

_ “They all do. Stop fighting it and embrace your true nature. You will only be more powerful that way. Allanon saw it : that’s why he never came looking for you. Same for the Elven Princess and the Shannara. They all see you as a monster…” _

“Bandon! Stop!”

Flick’s scream brought him back to the present. He was staring at him. Yes, there was fear in his look but he wasn’t scared of him. His blue eyes were mostly filled with sadness, understanding.

“Stop! That’s not who you are!”

“Yes, it is. Even Catania has seen it.”

Bandon finally broke at those words. He let the leather slip through his fingers as tears started falling freely on his cheeks. The boy’s body fell on the floor, his chest slightly raising. His parents crawled next to him.

The elf started running, willing to put as much space between him and this place. He rushed outside. He finally collapsed when he reached the old barn. His legs couldn’t support him anymore and he fell on the floor. He put his arms around his knees and he closed his eyes, still crying. The voice in his head had disappear and he was praying for it to stay that way.

He couldn’t bare the idea of Catania seeing him as a monster. After Wil and Amberle, she was the first one who hadn’t fled when he had talked to her about his visions. She had even thanked him - at multiple reprises - for saving her life. And Wil and Amberle didn’t really count, as they had already seen their fair share of scary and strange things before meeting him.

Catania was the first to accept him as he was.

His whole life, people around him had been afraid of him and what he might do. Even if it was worst now, people weren’t nice and welcoming towards those like him. Magic has made the beginning of his life a nightmare.

The worst part of it was when he had tried to warn and save his parents, before the Furies’ attack on the farm. He had ended up locked away in the barn and then, when the demons were there, forced to listen their screams, helpless, as they were eaten alive.

When he had follow Wil and Amberle to Arbolon, he had thought life had given him a fresh beginning. But too soon, this has been ripped away from him as the Dagda Mor had make him his prisoner.

He had quickly stopped counting the days he had spend in the small cage in the ground. When the druid had finally died, the ground had shaken and he had managed to to break free of his cell. He had picked up a black sword laying down, figured it could come useful if he run into a danger.

Then he had spend days wandering into the desert. Somehow, even without food or water, he had managed to survive to reach more welcoming lands.

Once back in the Four Lands, the Crimson had already begun his war against the magic-users so he hid. He could have gone back to Arbolon : Amberle, Wil and even Allanon would have welcomed him back. But something had stopped to do so.

It was at that time that the voice had started speaking. Asking him to set him free, that he was the only one who could accept him for who is truly was, that he could teach him to be the greatest Druid of the Four Lands.

At first, it was easy to shut it down and even forget that it was even there. But at some point, Bandon had started to listen to it. Then, he had set his mind on bringing back the Warlock Lord. The voice was right after all. He was alone. Allanon, Amberle, Wil and Catania had all forgotten his existence or they would have come looking for him. They had purely and simply abandoned him. The Crimson was hunting him because he was different. The only way to fight them was to gain power and the Warlock Lord was the only one capable of training him.

He was his only choice and only chance.

That was his only goal a few days back.

Now, he wasn’t so sure.

In this quest, he had hurt - and probably killed - the only man who had tried to help him with his “Gift” as he called it. He had also kidnapped the uncle of the man who had set him free and take him to Arbolon during the demons’ attacks. And then, trying to prove to the Valeman that people see him as the monster, he had managed to attack - and almost murder - the son of the farmer who had nicely accept to accommodate them for the night.

All his life, he had tried to find people to wouldn’t compare him to a freak, a monster. And when finally he had, well, he had wasted this unique opportunity. 

Bandon had no idea where he stood right now. He had no idea what to do next, if he should keep trying to bring the Warlock Lord back or not. But, he was sure of one thing. He didn’t want anyone to look at him the way the farmers had - as a monster.

He wasn’t a monster, wasn’t he ?

A soft thud next to him made him look up. Flick was sitting next to him, his head leaning against the wooden wall. He wasn’t looking the elf but rather the cloudy sky above them.

“It gonna rain soon. We should leave and find a place to stay before that.”

Bandon didn’t answer or move. What could he say? He felt guilty. But nothing he could say would make it go away. And it seemed that the Valeman wasn’t expecting him to do so because he started talking.

“Magic always come with a price.” He stated, still looking up. The elf sighed. He had heard that phrase so many times. In the end, it had just lost is meaning. He had paid the price of being a magic-user his entire life, even without using it.

“And I thought I have seen the worst price ever paid until i met you, Bandon. Wil’s father, Shea, he…” Flick’s voice broke a the evocation of his dead brother. “He used magic, a lot, to try to defeat the Warlock Lord. At the end, he didn’t go trough … The failure and the magic were what broke him. He lost himself in booze. Before he died, he was just a hollow shell, magic has drained his energy until he couldn’t even move and forgot his wife and son.”

Bandon passed an hand on his cheeks. He had stopped crying a few minutes back but he could fell they had dried on his skin. The human next to him was tired. Like him, he had seen things and even after many years, he couldn’t stop thinking about it.

“I hate magic for taking my brother. Allanon has left us just after finishing hiding the skull. I was angry at him for stopping in Shadyvale and taking him on a quest.” He sighed loudly. “I was mad at Wil’s mom when she died because she gave the Elfstones to her son. I knew that sooner or later, he would have to follow his father footstep. A Druid would come find him and ask him to save the world. It didn’t miss. And Wil payed a heavy price.”

Flick finally looked a the elf next to him. Bandon hadn’t move, trying to figuring out why he was telling him this.

“My family has payed enormous price when it come to magic… And i hate it for that but as you can tell, I haven’t joined the Crimson’s battle. I almost died to protect Wil.” He chuckled soflty. “So, even if I’m not able to use it, I know how much it costs… But, now that I’m old, I can tell you that, in some way, is the point. I was there were with Shea when he decided to follow Allanon and help him defeat the Warlock Lord.”

The Valeman started shivering. Talking about the Mad Druid wasn’t bringing back good memories, it seemed.

“He is a real threat. He can get in your mind and influence you, making you feel like a nobody. And then, use this new weakness to make you accomplish his will. And I have face him, I know how hard it is to resist. It is so difficult that Shea wasn’t able to complete this one task. By dispersing his sword, his heart and his skull, they managed to weaken him but even like that, he is able to get to you. So, i know that it wasn’t you in the house.”

Bandon shakes his head. He would love to believe Flick but he also knew he was the one holding the leather strap, choking the poor boy. He can still feel it in his hand.

“No, you’re not a monster. He makes you believe that because no one is easier to control that someone who hate himself. And that’s the worst price to pay. Because magic isn’t bad per se. It’s even beautiful when you think about it : a tree is able to keep prisoners a army of demons and a blade is capable of showing you your truth. The Warlock Lord got drunk on power and tried to fashion the world so it would fit his ideal. He is trying to do the same with you. You are not a bad person per se but you will become one if you keep thinking he’s the answer to your questions. He isn’t. The answers you are looking for are within you.”

The elf wished he could answer. Protest, even. But Flick was just telling him what he had hoped for his entire life. And he wasn’t judging him for making mistakes. No, he was even saying that he believed in the one who had tortured and kidnapped him enough to realist he was on the wrong path. And the worst part was that he was totally honest.

Tears started rolling on his face again, he couldn’t have stop them even if he had wanted to.

“You should let go of that sword. It’s the thing that bind you to the Warlock Lord and without it, you will realize he is the monster, not you.”

Bandon looked down on the blade on his hips. The black metal didn’t shine like a regular weapon, it seemed like it was absorbing all the light around. A pit of darkness.

“I can’t make this decision for you, Bandon. You are the only one able to decide what you want to do. Whatever the path you choose, the cost will be high, because it always is with magic. But always remember that you’re not a monster as long as you decide not to be one.”

On that, Flick rose and started walking away. Bandon didn’t even move as he watched his prisoner pass the house. When finally he was out of sight, the elf got back on his feet. His muscles were sore for sitting to long.

The Valeman was waiting for him on the top of the hill.

“I know that Allanon can be a pain in the ass and is definitely not a great teacher, but I can assure you that he is better to have around than the Warlock Lord.”

Bandon nodded. He knew that too. And he also knew he wasn’t a monster per se and that was the best reason not to become one now. Slowly, he undid the buckle of the sheath and let the sword fall on the ground.

**Author's Note:**

> Bandon as always been one of my fav in the serie and his arc in S2 kinda pissed me off w_w  
Tbh I had (kinda) move on but a post of beautyfullytoruredsouls on Tumblr remind me on that and this happen. I had no plan when writing this, so it doesn't really make sense but hey, who cares? It was fun to do \o/
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading ♥ and you can find me on Tumblr (HighlyLostCause) if you wanna talk ^///^


End file.
